Temper Tantrums in Public: What Should Mom Do?

Photo: National Library of Wales

You are raising good kids, and you are really consistent about discipline. Your 1-year-old knows the meaning of no, your 2-year-old knows the meaning of timeout, and your 3-year-old knows the meaning of "go to your room." But even the best of moms will have an occasional trip to Publix in which your sweet angel decides to scream for the entire 3 minutes it takes you to run in for milk and diapers. Don't lie and say it has never happened to you; there is a reason that moms buy groceries at 10 pm or 5 am. So what do you do when you are in a very public place, and your child has a titanic tantrum? 

Possible Parent Responses to Child's Tantrum:

1. Take her to the bathroom and sit her in timeout (this may take 5-10 minutes).

2. Take her to the bathroom and give her a spank (this process may take 5-10 minutes).

3. Keep walking through the store as fast as you can and ignore the screaming.

4. Leave the store immediately (without buying what you need).

5. Give her your phone or something to play with or eat (which reinforces the bad behavior).

Obviously, there is no easy way around this dilemma. Prevention is the only true solution, but realistically, can tantrums be prevented?

Possible Ways to Prevent Tantrums:

1. Bring activities for your child, such as coloring books or a toy he has not seen in awhile.

2. Teach your child as you walk around the store. Most kids behave better when they are engaging in active learning.

3. Make a checklist, AKA scavenger hunt, for the kids to help you find what is on your list and have them draw what they find.

4. Before going into the store, explain to your child that he can suck on a lollipop while shopping as long as he is obedient. If he disobeys, he will lose it immediately.

5. Do not go to the bakery section first and get him a free cookie. Explain ahead that if he is obedient the whole shopping trip, he can be rewarded at the end with a free cookie.

6. Explain that you will not shop with crying/whining children. And mean it. Don't be afraid to leave the store or any other public place if you said you would. Your children need to know that you mean what you say. Be sure they understand that you follow through on consequences. Don't make 5 empty threats to punish them for bad behavior. If you say: "you have 10 seconds to stop crying or I will take away the phone," then be sure to count to ten and remove the phone if they are still crying. It likely will cause more crying, but at least they are learning the consequences of disobedience.

7. Listen to your child. Sometimes your child just wants to tell you something, and if you actually take 20 seconds to listen, you may be able to easily fix what is bothering him, such as unfolding a sticker or turning a button.

8. Act a little crazy. It will make your kids laugh.

9. Bring another adult, especially a male adult. My husband is the superdad that can shop with four kids for an hour, and they never cry. His trick is to let them walk around, but they have to follow him. And they always do! The thought terrifies me, but it actually works for him.

10. Remember that as a parent, it is your job to train your children. You have an enormous opportunity and privilege to teach your little ones right from wrong, including how to behave in public.

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." –Proverbs 22:6