A Not-So-Stressful Afternoon With My Kids

Photo: Mary Decrescenzio. 

School started this week, so it has been an adjustment for all: earlier bedtimes, not early enough bedtimes, chaotic mornings, new schedules, tired kids, frantic grownups, cranky kids, and especially irritable moms (to put it lightly). Having experienced a few days of after-school drama, I brainstormed how to make Friday less stressful for all involved. Thankfully, I had plenty of ideas from my husband, who is naturally good with kids and from a friend who is a psychologist!

My husband's suggestion:
Let them watch TV.  Me?--let MY kids watch TV? Does he know who he is talking to? Liz Buerkert--the child who left her entire family watching TV together to go to her bedroom and read? I was the college student who never owned a TV. I am the wife who nags my husband to stop watching TV so we can talk every night! I am the mom who never turns on the TV, and the mom who turns off the TV every time I see the kids watching it. I am the woman who blogs in silence when I have free time and who rides the stationary bike without the TV on. I am honestly just weird like that. I don't know what I have against the big black screen sitting in front of me except that it simply gets on my nerves. Maybe I am too hyperactive to sit and watch it. Or maybe I prefer to focus on relationships or tasks or hobbies or cleaning. But on Friday I listened to my husband's suggestions because he seems to have this parenting thing figured out. By the way, I have a whole blog post coming that I have written about my anti-television opinions...

Psychologist's suggestion:
Spend time doing something active with your son first. Do I have time to spend alone with my son after school? I have five kids! But I do have a few minutes before my mom leaves that I could do something outside.

So on the way home from school, I asked Caleb if he wants to go for a bike ride with me. I waited in the garage for him because if I walk in the house, my sweet 4-year-old would never let me back out without her. I also had called my mom earlier to tell her my plan of riding bikes with Caleb before coming into the house or doing anything else. I was still wearing my work clothes and loafers, but I figured how hard could a bike ride be? Caleb ran inside to get his helmet, and immediately we were off...up the hill. There are a lot of hills in our neighborhood, but I had no idea that Caleb likes to go up and down all of them! They are so steep that you cannot ride straight up the streets but you have to zigzag back and forth from the right side of the street to the left. I kept up with him the best I could with my not-so-comfy shoes and my sore hands from holding the handlebars so tight! It was a great way to connect with my son after a rough few days and had the added benefit of a workout!

Once we got home and greeted everyone, what did we do next? I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually turned on the television. My mom saw me, so she can attest to it: I sat down and put my arm around Emma and watched some kids' show that I can't even remember. We were squished into the recliner chair together, but she did not mind. We sat there until I had to wake up my 2-year-old and feed my 5-month-old. And when I went to do those things, I left the TV on. My kids must have been wondering what is wrong with mommy that she is letting us (no--telling us to) watch TV?!! After I fed the baby, I stayed and played with him while the others were still tuned into Descendants, I'm sure, or Hannah Montana. They were perfectly quiet, so I was actually able to call a friend and chat for twenty minutes without being interrupted. Normally I only call friends on my way home from work.

As I was sitting on the floor playing Reversi, a new neighbor friend of my son's came over to play. I did not tell them to "go play outside" like usual. Instead, they just did whatever they wanted, which was Legos for a few, then pulling the sofa bed out of the sofa, then downstairs and upstairs again. Before anyone knew it, my husband was home from work. For once, he came home to a relaxed and unstressed wife...and a 2-year-old putting chapstick all over her body.