Overwhelmed, Overbooked, and Stressed Out

Photo: Liz Navarrete

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Do you ever feel desperate? Do you ever wonder how in the world you will be everything you need to be for everyone in your life?

I have recently been learning that sometimes I need to say no. This goes against my natural personality of wanting to please people, wanting to serve God, wanting to help others, and wanting to stay busy. But every time I say yes, I am likely sacrificing something. That's fine if it means sacrificing something insignificant in order to do great work for God's Kingdom. But often, I sacrifice truly important Kingdom work within my own marriage and family in order to do tasks that I often say yes to.

Moms tend to overbook and neglect themselves. We don't give ourselves a Sabbath day of rest every week or even every month. So it is no wonder that we snap at the kids or our husbands...again. We are constantly stressed out, but do we have to be? We are in charge of the social calendar, so why did we book ourselves to go to three different birthday parties on the same day? Or why can't we just stay home on Friday or Saturday night instead of going here and there and all over the city?!! Or why did we sign each of our kids up for so many extracurricular activities?

My husband wisely advises me to keep it simple. Don't overcommit. If you volunteer to do something, make sure it will not stress you out. What benefit is it to do fun activities if you are screaming at your kids to "hurry up and get in the car! We're going to be late!" Similarly, does "serving God" come at the price of compromising your own testimony in front of your children?
What happened to the "gentle and quiet spirit" the Bible talks about in 1 Peter 3:4?

If you are like me and have found yourself overwhelmed again with the weight of the tears of your little world in your ears, join me in claiming this theme verse today: "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me" (2 Corinthians 12:8-9).

I'm no Joanna Gaines, and that's ok!

Are you able to decorate like Joanna Gaines? Are you able to sew your own curtains? Are you able to look at an empty room and within thirty seconds know exactly what it would take to coordinate it perfectly from floor to ceiling? Some of you are because I have seen your amazing talent that comes very naturally. And some of you can research enough on Pinterest that you can make anything you see there.

But I learned today that I am not like that, which is ok! I volunteered to decorate a table for the women's dinner at church tonight. Each table had a month theme, so mine was the month of May. I mainly volunteered to do it because it sounded like a perfectly simple and easy thing to do, and I could do it on my way home from work before picking up the kids from school. I spent several days thinking about what my centerpiece would look like, and I figured it would include pastel flowers. My understanding of the table decor was that it needed a centerpiece and some napkins only. White tablecloths were already provided.  Cups, plates, and silverware were not needed because the church ladies would get those in the buffet line. So how hard can it be to buy or create a centerpiece and find matching napkins for a round table set for seven?

I went to the craft store and looked at the flowers. Hmm...Yellow? Pink? Roses? Carnations? There are only thousands of flowers and colors to choose from. What would represent May the best and coordinate together well? Periwinkle Hydrangeas!!! (I had to look up the name of that flower because I know zero about any sort of plant). Plus some white and light pink ones. And a white LED candle!

I could cut off the stems, and put the flowers around the candle in a big, clear bowl. That way it would not be too tall to block ladies from seeing and talking to each other across the table. I found some light pink paper napkins to match and a small, matching chocolate candy for each lady at the table. That wasn't so bad. 

At church, I asked the secretary for scissors, so I could cut the stems off the flowers. But they have a hard metal wire in them, so they don't cut very easily. Then I realized I could just pull the flowers out of the top of each stem. I put the centerpiece together and proudly showed it to the secretary. Then I went to find my table in the Fellowship Hall. That is when it struck me that I was under-prepared. Under-prepared is an understatement. Several tables were already decorated for their theme, and they all included big, multi-level and multi-object centerpieces, plates, silverware, cloth napkins with napkin rings, and colorful tablecloths. Did I get the wrong message about decor or am I just not naturally inclined to decorate? My centerpiece looked nice, and the napkins matched, but clearly the table needed more. I opened up each napkin as a placemat and took a small flower out of the centerpiece to decorate each "placemat." Then I put down the pastel candy on each one. It was simple and pretty but in my mind, perfectly insufficient for the night's decor.

After finishing work activities and taking two of my kids to the dentist, we looked at home for what we had that would make the May table look better. Pastel tablecloth? No. Cloth napkins? Nope. Napkin rings? Yes!! Chargers or pastel plates? Not a chance. Teacups? YES!!! And they were flowery, pastel, and very May-ish. Hershey's Kisses? Yes--to fill the teacups of course! So off we went, with all five kids, back to church. And we finished the May table! It's amazing what a bit of fine china does to dress up a plain table.

All this to say: do what you're good at. Don't try to be something that you are not. Don't volunteer to do something that you don't have a knack for. Know yourself and accept yourself! It's ok if you are not good at decorating, or singing, or teaching, or hosting, or public speaking, or administrating, or entertaining 3-year-olds. Don't worry about what you are not good at. And please, please DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHER WOMEN!!!!!!! God made you to be you. He made you to be like Christ (not like Martha Stewart). If you spend time trying to be someone else, you will only frustrate yourself and miss out on your own personal calling. So go out there and fulfill YOUR calling--whatever that looks like for you. God will reveal it if you ask Him.

"There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good" (1 Corinthians 12:4-7).

Photo: Liz Navarrete