The problem is this never happens when you sit down for dinner with young children. If it does for you, then please stop reading this post immediately in fear of learning that the real world does not look like your world. The day I arrived home from the hospital with my first newborn baby, it was dinner time and the food was ready. The baby was sleeping in the pack n play, and I planned to nurse him after dinner. Literally the moment I sat at the table, my newborn woke up and started crying. That is when I realized that my dinner times would never be the same again.
Fast forward two years. I have a toddler and a newborn. The toddler is picky and refuses to eat all meat, cooked vegetables, and side dishes. So most of supper is a battle with a 2-year-old to try to get him to try something...anything! Fast forward two more years. It is Christmas time, and I have tried to contact several doctors for the past week to say that I have mastitis and a clogged milk duct and need treatment, but no doctor can see me because of the holiday schedule. So on Christmas Eve, I have to go to the ER to get the abscess surgically drained. But Christmas Eve dinner is being served at my house and my husband is there at home with three young kids while I am in the ER all afternoon.
I say all this to say that it is perfectly normal and acceptable for your supper hour to be crazy and unconnected with your husband and kids during this season. There was one time that I actually took my plate to my bedroom and ate alone, leaving my husband to deal with all the kids at the dinner table because I could not handle being in the dining room one more minute. I will never forget a period of two years when my husband was in charge of a big work project that kept him in the office until 7 or 8 pm most days, so I was eating dinner alone with my kids every night. I was filled with anxiety every evening, especially during supper. You can ask my husband--he would get crazy, mean texts and phone calls from me every night starting around 6 pm.
It has always helped if I can accept my circumstances instead of resisting them. This is not easy, and it is a daily battle, but God can give us His perspective. Whatever your situation is and however difficult your dinner times are, Jesus is sitting there with you at your table. You may feel Him or you may not. But He is there, and He loves you. He loves your babies. He loves your husband. He is interceding for your marriage and your family. He is carrying you through the sleepless nights and the screaming hours. He is empowering you to pray for your husband and your kids. God has made you a mom for such a time as this. This is your season to be Queen Esther and to fulfill His special calling for you as a young mom of these precious babies. It takes courage to cook the meal that your kids may not eat. It takes courage to try to sit down at the table and have a conversation. It takes courage to teach your kids to fold their hands and thank God for the food. It takes courage to set your phone down and actually look at your family.
Supper time may not be the time of day when you can enjoy your family very much. But find a time each day to enjoy them. Sit outside on the porch and watch the older kids play while holding the baby. Or hang out in the back yard with your kids after school. Or take a few extra minutes to sing Bible songs to your babies before tucking them in. Despite the frustrations of the day, your kids will likely remember those sweet moments when they had your undivided attention, even for five or ten minutes.
As far as connecting with your husband, just get a babysitter every so often. Try to chat after the kids are in bed. Don't have too high expectations--just be realistic. And keep trying to make dinner a family affair. Soon all the kids will be out of their high chairs, and your dinner conversations will start with, "what did you do at school today?"
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