Moms, Give Yourselves Grace

If you are like me, you may look back on one of your not-so-perfect mommy days and be tempted to feel discouraged. You may think about the times you yelled at your kids or the patience you failed to show or the time you spent cleaning instead of playing with them, etc. But instead of being discouraged, which the enemy wants, be encouraged in your spirit by the Holy Spirit of God! Don't focus only on what you did wrong. God forgives you, so forgive yourself! God constantly shows you grace, so who are you to withhold grace from yourself as a mom? No mom is perfect--no matter what her social media displays.

Tomorrow is a new day, and God's mercy is new every morning! So look back on today and see what you can learn from your mistakes. Pray over those things and ask God to help you to improve tomorrow. God loves to answer prayers according to His will, and it is His will for you to be an awesome mother to the children He has entrusted to you. He did not give you this family so that you would just keep messing up the same way every day. He is using this time and season in your life to make you more like Jesus. Jesus was always perfectly patient. He always welcomed the little children. 

You may be trying to do too much, even within your household. For example, don't ask me why, but I decided to make pizza from scratch today. It was fast-rising yeast, so it was not supposed to take long... but several hours later, the pizza looked and smelled divine. It tasted good, but did my kids care that it was homemade? NOPE! Would they have been just as happy with Little Caesar's? YEP! Would they have preferred me to spend the afternoon playing hide-and-seek with them instead of cooking and cleaning and hollering? NO BRAINER!

Give yourself grace! You had good intentions. Everything you do (or 99% of what you do) is for your family. They are why you try to look good, cook well, maintain order in your home, stay organized, etc.  Because of your good intentions and your perfectionism, you try to be Martha Stewart and Jillian Michaels and Rachel Ray all at the same time. Your family may not tell you that they appreciate your dinners and how you ensure they never run out of clean socks and how you drive them all over town for soccer/ballet/piano/Boy Scouts/birthday parties and how you save enough money to take them on vacation and how you lose sleep to keep your home running smoothly. But you still do it every day, hoping for but not expecting a "thank you." Look at everything you do for everyone in your life except yourself, and give yourself a pat on the back and a big dose of GRACE when you mess up. God sees all that you do, and if you are doing it for Him, He will bless and reward you.

How Moms Can Deal with Isolation (Part 1)

Photo: R.A. Navarrete

I am a bit hyperactive, I have trouble sitting still, and I am extremely extroverted. So put me in my home with a newborn for 4 weeks with very few trips out of the house and even fewer adult interactions, and it makes for a big dose of isolation. Many of you may feel isolated for various reasons, so this is what God showed me today about isolating circumstances.

1. Our greatest joy should come from expanding God's Kingdom. As I was home alone with two babies this morning, I tuned in to First Baptist Church on TV.  The sermon was about Paul being on house arrest, but he was able to rejoice in his circumstances because God was working to introduce more people to Jesus Christ. It may have been different than Paul expected because he was a preacher, so he would prefer to be out preaching and teaching. But instead, Paul realized and trusted that God was doing a greater work somehow. Paul's circumstance produced encouragement and the challenge for other Christians to step up and fill his empty shoes, since he was unable to preach. Also, Paul had opportunities to witness to the Romans that were guarding him. Whatever situation we find ourselves in has a God-ordained purpose, but if we focus on the negatives, we will miss God-given opportunities such as praying with our kids or reading the Bible or talking to a neighbor.

2. The only one who is always with us and never lets us down is Jesus. One song I heard today said: "I lift my eyes up to the hills where my help comes from. God is the source of my strength and the strength of my life. So I will give total praise to Him." The more we can focus on Jesus instead of ourselves, the better perspective we will have on our life and what we currently face. Life as a parent is not easy, and we constantly need God's help. But we likely won't realize how much He is helping us if we are not seeking Him. If you are a Martha like me, you are a do-er. But in some cases, we cannot do certain things like normal. For example, I cannot jog, return to work, or even go to church yet because my little Dominic nurses every 2-3 hours and the flu is running rampant in Columbia right now. I also cannot cook and clean like I want to because the baby needs to be held or my older kids need my attention. Staying home with limited ability to "do" means that I must spend more time "being." I can be in God's presence, be in prayer, be in the Word, be a good mom, be still, be present for my children.

3. Being home with our children is a high calling. Because I like my work as a Physical Therapist and feel a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment doing it, sometimes it is difficult to be home instead of at work. But over the duration of my life, how I raise and influence my children matters the most. As a mom, this is our highest calling, even more than our jobs or ministries or friends. It is hard to be home, and often our work as a mom is more difficult and stressful than going to work. So we need the right perspective to not get bogged down with diapers, discipline, noise, housework, and all the other mothering tasks on our to-do lists. Think of what we want to teach our kids: kindness, obedience, honesty, forgiveness, morality, proper attitudes, faith, values. Are we setting a good example of these qualities? Are we spending time teaching these to our children? Sometimes it may take a change of mindset or priorities to remember that raising our kids is our most important job. Think about the impact of a good mom; we have the potential to shape the futures of our kids, which will shape our grandchildren and every generation to come. So now is your opportunity to leave your legacy!