Mom Says "I Need A Break!"

Photo: Liz Navarrete

As a mom, you may have thought this, but have you ever said it out loud? And who did you say it to?--your best friend or your co-worker or your parents or your spouse? If God needed a day of rest after six days of work, and He tells us to take a day of rest every week, then clearly He knows that you need a break at times from everything, including a few moments away from the kids.

Thanksgiving may not be the easiest time to get your break because your work load at home has increased significantly this week. Your kids are off school, so you have to figure out how to keep them entertained. You have people coming over for Thanksgiving dinner, so you have to clean, cook, and then clean some more. You have to do some shopping on black Friday in order to save a couple of bucks. You have a whirlwind of activities planned the next month until Christmas. So, no--it may not be the best time to get a little break.

But at least think about what type of break you need and plan it for...maybe January? Is it selfish to get away for an hour or an evening? No! It it loving because it should refresh you. And if you are refreshed, then you will be better equipped to continue loving and serving your family (and hopefully be less grumpy)!

Most importantly, what do you need during your time away? Sleep? Social time? Pampering? A meal you did not have to cook? A favorite book? A blank canvas? A long run? Whatever you need during this time, I encourage you to spend some time with Jesus. "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? (Matthew 6:25). "Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken" (Psalm 55:22). "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" (Galatians 6:9). "Those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and not get tired. They will walk and not become weary" (Isaiah 40:31).

When All Your Kids Cry at the Same Time

Photo: Mary DeCrescenzio

We were on one of our first outings with all 5 children, so we loaded up the family van and made our way to Karate for my son's orange belt test. As his mom, I wanted to be there to support him even though I knew it may be hard to keep all his siblings quiet for the showcase. I brought the double stroller, packed with our 1-month old and 2-year-old, hoping to keep them contained and easy to manage. My husband could sit with the 4 and 6-year-old, and he and I could both try to catch a few quick photos with our free hands.

Crying Child #1: On the way into the studio, I realized that Sadie had mosquito bites all over her arms in addition to having been sick and fussy all week. So the only consolation for her was in her Daddy's arms. Everything was making her cry this week--even her own Birthday party! So watching Karate for an hour was no exception.

Crying Child #2: I was not surprised that our newborn was going to cry because his feeding time was 7 pm, which was halfway through the Karate show. But before I could feed him...

Crying Child #3: Gaby was sitting in a folding chair, and her finger got cut by the folding joint, so she was bleeding and crying. I ran her into the bathroom to put cold water on it and compression to stop the bleeding, and thankfully the Karate staff had ice and bandages. Before she recovered:

Crying Child #4: I went into a smaller room to feed the baby and watch the younger 2 girls. During that time, Sadie poured every crayon from all 3 large crayon boxes onto the floor. And Emma wanted to run back and forth between her Daddy's chair and the room I was in, which meant that Sadie was following her. She also wanted to stand on a chair in order to see the gym area, of which I said no several times, requiring me to reprimand her. That, of course, brings Emma to tears, so by this point I was close to tears myself. I am used to having this type of chaos at home, but in public, I was certain that all the parents were staring at us and terribly frustrated for our disrupting their children's performances. At least Karate is a loud sport, so hopefully our noise blended in.

Ruben and Emma cleaned up half the crayons and then tried to continue watching Caleb perform. I picked up some crayons but did not want to miss Caleb receiving his belt. I had to watch it from outside the building because Sadie was crying again, so I held her outside and looked in through the lobby windows.

Amazingly, as soon as the show was over, no one was crying, and the rest of the crayons had been cleaned up by the Karate staff--certainly out of sympathy for the stressed out parents of 5 under age 8. Caleb had completed the test and was awarded his new belt, and we were ready for a happy family dinner.

But I knew my stress levels could not handle that. So I came home with the two youngest while Ruben took the older 3 to dinner. Once I got the babies into bed, I sat down in my recliner to relax and watch Property Brothers. The night was somehow a success!

How Moms Can Deal with Isolation (Part 1)

Photo: R.A. Navarrete

I am a bit hyperactive, I have trouble sitting still, and I am extremely extroverted. So put me in my home with a newborn for 4 weeks with very few trips out of the house and even fewer adult interactions, and it makes for a big dose of isolation. Many of you may feel isolated for various reasons, so this is what God showed me today about isolating circumstances.

1. Our greatest joy should come from expanding God's Kingdom. As I was home alone with two babies this morning, I tuned in to First Baptist Church on TV.  The sermon was about Paul being on house arrest, but he was able to rejoice in his circumstances because God was working to introduce more people to Jesus Christ. It may have been different than Paul expected because he was a preacher, so he would prefer to be out preaching and teaching. But instead, Paul realized and trusted that God was doing a greater work somehow. Paul's circumstance produced encouragement and the challenge for other Christians to step up and fill his empty shoes, since he was unable to preach. Also, Paul had opportunities to witness to the Romans that were guarding him. Whatever situation we find ourselves in has a God-ordained purpose, but if we focus on the negatives, we will miss God-given opportunities such as praying with our kids or reading the Bible or talking to a neighbor.

2. The only one who is always with us and never lets us down is Jesus. One song I heard today said: "I lift my eyes up to the hills where my help comes from. God is the source of my strength and the strength of my life. So I will give total praise to Him." The more we can focus on Jesus instead of ourselves, the better perspective we will have on our life and what we currently face. Life as a parent is not easy, and we constantly need God's help. But we likely won't realize how much He is helping us if we are not seeking Him. If you are a Martha like me, you are a do-er. But in some cases, we cannot do certain things like normal. For example, I cannot jog, return to work, or even go to church yet because my little Dominic nurses every 2-3 hours and the flu is running rampant in Columbia right now. I also cannot cook and clean like I want to because the baby needs to be held or my older kids need my attention. Staying home with limited ability to "do" means that I must spend more time "being." I can be in God's presence, be in prayer, be in the Word, be a good mom, be still, be present for my children.

3. Being home with our children is a high calling. Because I like my work as a Physical Therapist and feel a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment doing it, sometimes it is difficult to be home instead of at work. But over the duration of my life, how I raise and influence my children matters the most. As a mom, this is our highest calling, even more than our jobs or ministries or friends. It is hard to be home, and often our work as a mom is more difficult and stressful than going to work. So we need the right perspective to not get bogged down with diapers, discipline, noise, housework, and all the other mothering tasks on our to-do lists. Think of what we want to teach our kids: kindness, obedience, honesty, forgiveness, morality, proper attitudes, faith, values. Are we setting a good example of these qualities? Are we spending time teaching these to our children? Sometimes it may take a change of mindset or priorities to remember that raising our kids is our most important job. Think about the impact of a good mom; we have the potential to shape the futures of our kids, which will shape our grandchildren and every generation to come. So now is your opportunity to leave your legacy!

Don't Let the Dog Out and Magic Markers

Cecil Stoughton's White House Photos

It was a low-stress Friday afternoon. On Fridays, I don't have to cook, so I was relaxing and the kids were playing. Then I suggested that Caleb invite the neighbor over to play so he could have more boy time. Little did I know that was the end of my low-stress afternoon.

Before I talk about what happened next, let's divert to the dog. Sam is our faithful, 11-year-old beagle that just underwent surgery last week. He had his spleen removed plus a massive tumor that was over two pounds and larger than a grapefruit. So he has a cone on his head until the incision heals. The vet's instructions are to keep Sam on bed rest.

Back to Friday afternoon: Caleb brought Eric over to play, but while they were entering the front door, the screen door did not quite close, so Sam ran over and tried to squeeze through. I screamed for Caleb and Eric to stop him, but they could not, so I reached for his tail and ended up on my knees in the doorway. Sam ran straight into the street, almost getting hit by a silver Honda, of which the driver stopped afterwards to wave and apologize. He saw me on my knees on the front porch, screaming at the boys for letting Sam out (I am 13 weeks pregnant, by the way). One other thing: at that same moment the boys were walking in, I was calling my husband, so he heard the whole 45 seconds of chaos.

While Sam was roaming the neighborhood with his cone, stitches, and all, I moved the car from the garage to the driveway so the boys could have more space to play in the garage. When I came back into the dining room, I noticed pink circles all over the wall, and Emma was standing there. "When did you do this, Emma?!!!!" "Right now, Mommy."  "What marker did you use, Emma?!!!" "Gaby's magic marker." So of course I made her "clean it up," which is impossible because it is permanent marker. 

After that, 3 more neighbors came to play, Sam came home, Sam ran away again, I cooked pancakes because my husband worked later than expected, we tried to take five kids to the football game, the football game ticket stand did not take debit cards, so we finally ended up with five kids at Krispy Kreme at 8:00 pm. 

Advice for Overwhelmed Moms:

My only advice is if you are an overwhelmed mom, you are not alone. That may or may not help you in the chaotic moments, but later on, when the kids are sleeping, call a friend that also has a large family, and you can laugh (or cry) about it together. We are not meant to face all of this alone. God is with you. Your family and friends are with you. Just reach out and share your story.