Dealing with Isolation (Part 2)

Photo: Rev. Ruben E. Navarrete

4. Isolation is an opportunity to be satisfied by the presence of God. Difficult circumstances such as loneliness cause us to seek God with great need and desperation. "God says 'I removed the burden from their shoulders; their hands were set free from the basket. In your distress you called and I rescued you, I answered you out of a thundercloud...I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it....But you would be fed with the finest of wheat; with honey from the rock I would satisfy you" (Psalm 81). "Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere...For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you" (Psalm 84:10-12). One hymn that reminds me of this is "Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace" (Helen Lemmel). 

5. Isolation is an opportunity to find yourself. You may usually be so busy that you have forgotten who you are. What are your personal interests? Now that you have some time to yourself, explore the things you enjoy and are good at. Explore the things you used to do before having kids. Is there a hobby you love that you have not done in years? Or is there a hobby you would like to start that you never had time for? Someday, when you retire, how do you plan to spend your free time? I would encourage you to turn off the TV and internet for a few minutes and choose an activity that is creative, productive, helpful, and pursue that! There are so many fulfilling hobbies out there and many of them you can do alone at home or with your kids. I am so appreciative of ladies that have made blankets/quilts for our babies, cross-stitched decorations on towels for us, or baked us cookies, brought us meals, etc. Find a hobby that uses your talents to serve others.

6. Isolation is an opportunity to reach out. Sometimes we need to reach out for help; other times we need to reach out to help someone else. You may feel alone, but you likely have friends, sisters, church members, neighbors, acquaintances that are facing similar struggles. Make that phone call if you are sitting at home alone, feeling depressed. Don't isolate yourself more than you already are. Create opportunities to get out of the house; go for a walk or chat with a neighbor. In my experience, time on social media does not really help in this area. For example, I feel more isolated after scrolling facebook for an hour. But after a phone call with an old friend, I always feel encouraged. Give people the opportunity to help and serve you. Most friends and family are willing and eager to help if they know how. And asking for help may be a way to strengthen that relationship. Don't stress yourself out trying to volunteer or serve if you aren't able, but there may be something you can do from home to show God's love to others. It is very important to spend time with women that you can relate to, but you will have to be intentional about making that happen. Don't wait for someone to call and invite you. When you feel isolated, you often lose motivation because you feel like no one cares and no one understands. But those things are simply not true. So plan some activities outside your home if possible. It may be as simple as a play date for your kids or a cup of coffee with a friend. Out of my own experience, I can say that it will make you feel less isolated.

How Moms Can Deal with Isolation (Part 1)

Photo: R.A. Navarrete

I am a bit hyperactive, I have trouble sitting still, and I am extremely extroverted. So put me in my home with a newborn for 4 weeks with very few trips out of the house and even fewer adult interactions, and it makes for a big dose of isolation. Many of you may feel isolated for various reasons, so this is what God showed me today about isolating circumstances.

1. Our greatest joy should come from expanding God's Kingdom. As I was home alone with two babies this morning, I tuned in to First Baptist Church on TV.  The sermon was about Paul being on house arrest, but he was able to rejoice in his circumstances because God was working to introduce more people to Jesus Christ. It may have been different than Paul expected because he was a preacher, so he would prefer to be out preaching and teaching. But instead, Paul realized and trusted that God was doing a greater work somehow. Paul's circumstance produced encouragement and the challenge for other Christians to step up and fill his empty shoes, since he was unable to preach. Also, Paul had opportunities to witness to the Romans that were guarding him. Whatever situation we find ourselves in has a God-ordained purpose, but if we focus on the negatives, we will miss God-given opportunities such as praying with our kids or reading the Bible or talking to a neighbor.

2. The only one who is always with us and never lets us down is Jesus. One song I heard today said: "I lift my eyes up to the hills where my help comes from. God is the source of my strength and the strength of my life. So I will give total praise to Him." The more we can focus on Jesus instead of ourselves, the better perspective we will have on our life and what we currently face. Life as a parent is not easy, and we constantly need God's help. But we likely won't realize how much He is helping us if we are not seeking Him. If you are a Martha like me, you are a do-er. But in some cases, we cannot do certain things like normal. For example, I cannot jog, return to work, or even go to church yet because my little Dominic nurses every 2-3 hours and the flu is running rampant in Columbia right now. I also cannot cook and clean like I want to because the baby needs to be held or my older kids need my attention. Staying home with limited ability to "do" means that I must spend more time "being." I can be in God's presence, be in prayer, be in the Word, be a good mom, be still, be present for my children.

3. Being home with our children is a high calling. Because I like my work as a Physical Therapist and feel a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment doing it, sometimes it is difficult to be home instead of at work. But over the duration of my life, how I raise and influence my children matters the most. As a mom, this is our highest calling, even more than our jobs or ministries or friends. It is hard to be home, and often our work as a mom is more difficult and stressful than going to work. So we need the right perspective to not get bogged down with diapers, discipline, noise, housework, and all the other mothering tasks on our to-do lists. Think of what we want to teach our kids: kindness, obedience, honesty, forgiveness, morality, proper attitudes, faith, values. Are we setting a good example of these qualities? Are we spending time teaching these to our children? Sometimes it may take a change of mindset or priorities to remember that raising our kids is our most important job. Think about the impact of a good mom; we have the potential to shape the futures of our kids, which will shape our grandchildren and every generation to come. So now is your opportunity to leave your legacy!