Peace at Home: Is It Possible?

Photo: R.A. Navarrete

"My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest" (Isaiah 32:18). When the Lord gave me this verse the other night, it was obviously what I needed because I have not been feeling very peaceful lately. If you are a busy mom like me, you understand that peace on earth through the coming of Christ is far from your current December calendar, which has left little room for peaceful anything. And the more you have on your calendar, the more stressed you get. And the more stressed you get, the more irritable you become. And the more irritable you become, the more you yell at your kids and maybe even at your husband. Sometimes you wonder is peace possible in my home and within my heart? If I'm not at peace within my heart, then how can I exude peacefulness in my home and family?

Peace is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. So since I am filled with the Holy Spirit, then there should be some peaceful fruit in my life. As I thought about the Scripture from Isaiah 32:18, it is clear that God gives the peace, the security, and the rest. It is basically a promise: "My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest." The promise comes from God and is kept by God--for those of us who are His people. He gave the promise to His people, and He always keeps His promises to His people! 

He promises to help us live in a peaceful dwelling place. So if I am seeking peace within myself, that is the wrong place to look. And if I am seeking peace from any other human, that is the wrong place to look. And if I am seeking peace from a circumstance, that will also fail to provide the peace I seek. God is the only Source and Provider of a peaceful dwelling place. 

He promises to give us a secure home. This security cannot come from anything/anyone other than God Himself. We as women want security, and we hate our insecurities. But maybe we have been seeking security everywhere else except in the arms of Jesus. No wonder we have been disappointed when all along God keeps calling us to reach out to Him instead of grasping at everything else around us. 

He promises to give us undisturbed places of rest. Doesn't that sound amazing?--undisturbed rest? Obviously we cannot get undisturbed rest apart from God. Even if we are resting, we wrestle with our own thoughts, feelings, and emotions. We can be honest with God--He can take our raw and honest cries. As long as we hold onto everything, we cannot rest. The only place to find rest is to surrender our worries, illnesses, shortcomings, tragedies, and struggles to our Heavenly Father, who loves us. 

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30).

Mommy is tired

What a loooong day! If you are a parent of young kids, you know what that means. It means it is 10 pm, and your kids are still awake. Or it means it is 6 am, and your baby just fell asleep for the first time all night. It means you have not sat down all day--literally--since you woke up at 5 am. It means you are so tired, you don't even know how to rest. You are tired. You are tired of your kids. You are tired of your job. You are tired of everything at this moment. You are tired because you need sleep but you also need emotional support...somehow...somewhere.

So where do you turn at 9, 10 or 11 pm, when you finally get a brief moment to be you again? Social Media?...I don't recommend it. It's more depressing than supportive. TV?...maybe, if you have a favorite show or channel that makes you laugh and relax and chill. But keep in mind that TV and all media feed you ideas that may not be helpful during this time of sheer exhaustion. For example, you are not pretty enough, thin enough, rich enough, successful enough, lucky enough, happy enough, a good enough mom, etc. Your best friend?...Yes. She knows you. She understands how you feel. She will laugh...and cry...with you. Your husband?...Yes. But he is likely distracted. Sorry guys, but it's true. Don't hate me for saying it. And he is tired too, of course! So 11:00 at night may not be the best time to start a convo with your hubby about the one hundred broken pieces of your heart.

The Lord gave me one verse tonight. Psalm 130:5: "I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope." So it was pretty clear that God wants me to wait for Him. Wait on the Lord. Be in His Word, and hope in His Word. Focus on Him...not myself and my circumstances. But if I am waiting on God and hoping in God, that means I am not alone! We constantly feel alone and lonely in this world, even at times when we are surrounded by crowds of people. But God has promised He never leaves us alone. So if we feel alone, it is likely because we are not looking to God to fulfill His promises to us. If we do what this verse says and wait for God, then we don't need to wait for anything else or anyone else! That is good news because aren't you tired of being disappointed by things and people in your life?!! God is the only one who will ALWAYS be there for you.

So in your fatigue and stress and chaos and irritation, at the end of the day (or night), say a prayer of waiting. I wait for you, Lord. I hope in your Word. You alone are my hope.

Can I Trust God?

I know that God can be trusted, but do I have the ability to trust Him? In our own power, we tend to quarrel with God about everything--especially the parts of our lives that we don't like. So what does the Bible tell us about what God is doing and about why we should trust Him?

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him" (James 1:12).

"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6).

"Oh, the depths of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways. 'For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been His counselor?' " (Romans 11:33-34).

We can try to power struggle with God, but it won't work. We will not win the argument. And we will not win the fight for control. This is a good thing because God knows everything, and we do not. Think back to the times in your life when you wanted one thing but God gave you something much better!  Not only does He have all knowledge and all power, but He loves us!

Recently, I heard a lady wisely say: "Don't rely on anyone to make you happy. Just you with the Good Lord can make your heart happy. And even if you try to get your happiness from someone, you will be disappointed." So it is more fruitful to trust God than others or even ourselves.

Whining and Grumbling

Do your kids whine and complain? "I'm hungry. Why can't we...? I'm bored. Why do we have to...?" It is natural but terribly annoying. As I recently thought about my annoyance with my kids over their apparent discontent, it was ironic because I was, in turn, whining about their excessive whining. And I was complaining over their complaining too much.

I wonder if God gets tired of our whining and complaining over every little thing. For some reason, I expect my life to be perfect--according to my perfect plan. And if it is not perfect, I get mad or disappointed or frustrated. If my kids are just being kids, I get annoyed that they are too loud or they are teasing each other too much or...they are SCREAMING...AGAIN!

God wants us to be content. This means I should not always wish for a different season in my life or for my kids to grow out of...or for my husband to... or for my boss to... or for traffic to...or for summer to...or for Christmas to... or for the next vacation to.... This list could go on forever, and each time we wish for something different, we miss out on what God has in this time, place and circumstance. God wants to show His power, presence, and grace right now in the pain, joy, loss, or success.

I don't have to keep fighting against every...single...imperfection in my day. I just told my son this: "Don't make everything a battle." Don't fight against having to wake up early to go to school or work. Don't fight against the things God has placed in your life right now. Just accept them as gifts from God. School is a blessing. Appreciate it. Remember that some kids don't have the ability to go to school. Work is a blessing. Appreciate it. Family is a blessing. Appreciate them.

Stop fighting to try and make your life perfect and without mistake. We cannot make our lives perfect because we are imperfect sinners and we live in a fallen, sinful world. But God is perfect, and He is on our side. Jesus completed the work required to give us peace in this imperfect world.

"Day after day, every priest stands and performs his religious duties; again and again he offers the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when this priest had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God." (Hebrews 10:11-12).

Move; Keep Walking

Photo: Ruben A. Navarrete

One of my favorite songs the past few years is "Move--Keep Walking," by Toby Mac. It inspired me and encouraged me during difficult times. God never leaves us alone, even if we may feel alone or discouraged with what we are facing in life. Like a soldier, we have to keep walking and keep fighting. This song came to mind again tonight because the words "keep walking" were repeated in the book I am reading called "Glory Days," by Max Lucado. Chapter 8 of this book is entitled "Walk Circles Around Jericho."

When Joshua was leading the Israelites into the Promised Land, their first obstacle was Jericho--a large, walled city. "Your Jericho is your fear...your anger, bitterness, or prejudice. Your insecurity about the future. Your guilt about the past. Your negativity, anxiety, and proclivity to criticize, overanalyze, or compartmentalize. Your Jericho is any attitude or mind-set that keeps you from joy, peace, or rest" (Glory Days. p 84).

"Just as Jericho was a stronghold in Canaan, we have strongholds in our lives...the stronghold of guilt...resentment...self-pity...pride...rejection...defeat...performance...appearance...materialism...But we don't have to be among them. Our weapons are from God and have divine power to demolish strongholds (2 Cor 10:4)" (Glory Days. p 86-87).

God did not give them victory by traditional means of trying to break through the walls, doors, or climbing over the walls. Instead, God called the soldiers to march around the city with the ark of the covenant in the middle of them. Each of us is in a spiritual battle, and God is calling us to march around the stronghold with His all-powerful presence in the center of our lives. "We employ every tool God offers: hymns, songs, communion, Scripture memorization, and petition. We turn off the TV and open the Bible more" (Glory Days. p 88).

"Keep walking. For all you know this may be the day the walls come down" (Glory Days. p 90). They walked around Jericho once a day for six days. But "on the seventh day...they marched around the city seven times...And the seventh time it happened, when the priests blew the trumpets, that Joshua said to the people: 'Shout, for the LORD has give you the city!'...when the people shouted with a great shout, that the wall fell down flat. Then the people...took the city" (Joshua 6:15-16, 20).

Keep walking. Keep moving. Keep believing. Because God has promised you victory!

Breastfeeding in Public: North Dakota Chick-Fil-A Incident

Here is my professional mommy opinion on this matter. By the way, I am a professional mommy because I have had five kids in the past eight years, I breastfed all of them for at least 12 months, and I currently have a nursing infant. 

First of all, modesty is important for all parties--for the mom and for everyone else around her. I try to practice modesty, and I am teaching this virtue to my girls. In general, I practice modesty for the benefit of others around me just as much as for my own benefit.

Second, cover-ups are cute and inexpensive. You can find them at any Target, Buy Buy Baby, or Babies R Us. Of course you can find them on Amazon too--like everything else! I have seen several different types of cover-ups and have tried at least two different ones myself, so there are lots of options available. If you don't have an official cover-up, you can easily use a jacket, towel, baby blanket, or even surround yourself with your baby gear such as the car seat and diaper bag. With a cover-up, you can nurse anywhere and hardly anyone will even notice!

Third, you can easily nurse in a private place such as your car or a restroom. I have nursed in many dressing rooms over the years. I found that my babies nurse better when they are in a more quiet and private place. My living room is always full of loud children, so I usually nurse in another room where it is quieter.

Fourth, it is possible to nurse without a cover-up but in a way that will not be noticed by the entire Chick-Fil-A restaurant. Just choose the right spot to sit where you are the least visible and lean forward a little. Find a corner or turn a chair to face the opposite direction. Have your husband sit or stand in a way to provide some shelter from everyone's wandering eyes.

You have the right to nurse your baby anywhere, but life is not all about our rights. Sometimes life is about being considerate of other people. Is it considerate to drink alcohol in front of a recovering alcoholic? Is it considerate to smoke in front of someone who is trying to quit smoking? Is it considerate to tell a mom who has to work that she should be homeschooling her kids?

Do you want to see other people's anatomy? Once your baby is 5 years old, would you want your child to see a grown man scratching himself in public for 5-10 or more minutes? Do you really want your kids to see the plumber's crack? Do you really want your 10-year-old son looking at girls' transparent leggings?!! 

Honestly, breastfeeding in public without covering is kind of selfish if you know that it is making everyone around you uncomfortable. It does not mean that you should be kicked out, but don't be surprised if several families decide to leave because they do not want their dads, brothers, or little boys seeing that. 

Life is not all about appealing to the masses, but let's be real: if one person can do something small to make ten or fifty or a hundred people feel less awkward, then just do it! For example, if your child is screaming in Olive Garden and is disrupting everyone's dinner, it is not necessary to take them to the bathroom until they quit screaming, but wouldn't it be the nice thing to do?!! Think about how one thing you do or don't do affects everyone around you.